My bum hurts..what should i do?

guys night out, just the 5 of us alone with 40 oz. of Sourpuss, another 40 of Malibu, and 2 flats of Boxer Lager. I woke up the next morning with a pounding headache, and a sore anus. I look in the mirror and my left eyebrow is missing, but they drew it back on, and a black eye. everything i better but my poor bum. and that was 3 weeks ago...WHAT SHOULD I DO!?!?!?!